'kay so I get excited about underwear. It's a big issue in my life, which is either indicative of me lacking much of a life at all or conversely that I'm easily excited by relatively trivial matters... if, and this is a big if, you assume that the article of clothing that wraps "my boys" is "trivial" (I'd argue that it's not, obviously...); anyway this is not the point. The point is, however, that this underwear is just freaking amazing... my guys have never been more comfortable, more relaxed, more... happy, on so many levels. Gosh this underwear is like, I don't know, I guess if I were Mormon this would be *my* 'magic underwear' (apologies to my Mormon friends who tell me I am not correctly understanding the apparently complicated topic...) Anyway, I *am* religious about this underwear. I'd go as far as saying that *if* G-d exists *and* he (assuming G-d has a gender and that G-d is a 'he') needs underwear, this would be G-d's underwear of choice... I mean, even the almighty must desire to have his cajones cuddled firmly yet softly, with just the right amount of tenderness and support and comfort. Yes, this is, dare I say it, divine underwear. I can think of no other terms and I ardently refuse to accept anything less than that term as a way to describe this product. In short, buy this underwear and live happily ever after.. seriously. Great underwear. I'm so fond of it I'm tempted to not wear pants to work tomorrow just to show off my wonderful underwear to all my co-workers and preach righteously of the joy it brings me... for it is a shining beacon on top of a hill that must provide guidance to all those who have searched, previously in vain, for the PERFECT pair of underwear, only to, time and time again, be saddened by what they had purchased... Fear not, for the kingdom of underwear is at hand (or "at crotch" as the case may be.) This is truly glorious, righteously wonderful underwear that transcends the confines of our petty political and religious disagreements and brings us together in a spirit of joy at the wonders which reside in our pants... go forth and buy multiple pairs... for the kingdom of underthings is now upon us, for all to see. Lo, I have worn them, and they are good. Let the light shine from between my legs and outwards to all men, women, children (well, not so much children) and all the creatures of the earth. And so it is written and so it shall be. Amen.
